


Growing Up Is Hard To Do

by jumbled-nonsense (notsodarling)



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: F/M, Gen, Introspection, Maria Deserves The World
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-02
Updated: 2019-08-02
Packaged: 2020-07-29 16:22:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20085181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notsodarling/pseuds/jumbled-nonsense
Summary: A little introspective fic of Maria's headspace.





	Growing Up Is Hard To Do

**Author's Note:**

> I'd previously posted this to my tumblr, which can be found [here](https://jumbled-nonsense.tumblr.com/post/185774563658).

Maria saw how the weight of the world sat on Liz’s shoulders.**  
**

How it had changed Alex - what it had taken from him.

Even as a child, Mimi had taught her to love herself - damn what anyone else said. The only person’s who opinion mattered was her own. Being left alone, being left behind, had taught her how to protect herself from being hurt.

Maria hated pushing her problems off on others. She hated feeling like she was possibly getting in the way, that she was forcing others to hear about the things that weighed heavy on her mind, the difficulties she was having with her mom, with the bar, in her personal life. It was easier to just ignore them, to be the fun friend, put on a smile and sing karaoke when life pushed her down.

Hook-ups were supposed to be fun, no strings attached. And Michael Guerin was supposed to be just another notch in the bedpost. He was the town drunk, he got into bar fights, and she knew he’d ended up in the drunk tank at the sheriff’s department more times than she cared to count. There wasn’t anything _special _about Michael Guerin.

But hearing Alex admit he was in love with Michael. That he’s been in love with Michael since senior year of high school, Maria tries to push down her own emotions and ignore them. Even as Michael repeats that he and Alex are over, that Maria has nothing to feel guilty over - Alex is still her best friend, and she can’t ignore the importance of that. Lets it eat away at her so much that she can’t even talk to him, can’t admit to him that it wasn’t _just_ a drunken Texas rounder, and that she hadn’t let herself admit it was more.

Part of her is scared to hear what Alex might say about the guy who made him feel hopeful since coming back to Roswell. And she tries - _fuck, does she try_ \- to push Michael away. Draw the line that is Alex, and make Michael understand it doesn’t matter if he says he and Alex are over _because Alex is in love with him_.

But those feelings continue to chip away at the wall she’s tried to erect between them. And Michael Guerin keeps showing up. He’s a shoulder to cry on when she needs it, when she doesn’t want to bother Liz or Alex with her problems more than she already has. He’s kind and gentle with her when she comes down from being drugged at the gala, and she doesn’t miss how he offers to get Liz - respecting those boundaries she’d put up between them. And Maria _hates_ it, because she likes him being there for her, she likes that there’s someone there for her in those moments, starts getting addicted to those dumb butterflies that show up when she sees him.

Because for a moment, she had allowed herself to believe that maybe - _maybe for once_, someone could be there for her. That she could have someone all her own.

And so, she allows herself that moment of weakness when Michael Guerin shows up at the bar. She allows herself to let him in, lets him kiss her - but she says the one thing that she knows needs to be said - they have to talk. Because they have to discuss how Alex fits into this before they move forward.


End file.
